How to Spot Scammers When Looking for Love Online

Online dating surges right around Valentine’s Day, as the holiday’s focus on romance reminds people that they might want to search for their soulmate. But if you get on the apps, remember that what looks like love might turn into someone taking advantage of you and hurting you or your finances. 

When you meet someone online, you can’t be sure if they are who they say they are, but you can do a little sleuthing to get closer to the truth. First, look at the photos. If they seem suspiciously perfect, they’re probably either AI or stolen. The person might not exist, or they could have hijacked someone else’s identity to hide behind for their nefarious plans. Google and some other apps allow you to do a reverse image search – put a couple of their photos in and see if they’re using stock photos or they took them from someone else’s profile. The same person’s photos and identity could be used by hundreds of different scammers around the world.

Next, do a close read of their profile. Is there little or no information, with only vague generalities? What about a profile that is too perfect: a single millionaire who wants to take you out on his boat? Both of those can be red flags. Beware of stories calculated to appeal to your patriotism or tug at your heartstrings. The “widowed serviceman stationed overseas” is a popular description for a scammer.

If you connect with them, pay attention to the way they communicate. Someone looking for a real and healthy human connection will probably take things slowly at first. If the conversation rapidly escalates to talk of love, or if they want to move the conversation off the app, the person you’re talking to may be a scammer. Or, they may be someone who wants to take advantage of you in other ways. 

A scammer has something to hide, and they probably won’t participate in a video call. With AI getting better every day, it may be possible for a scammer to trick you with a quick video call, so beware if they won’t stay on more than a short while, or they send you video clips instead of talking live. Whether live or pre-recorded, look for glitches in the video, lip movements that don’t match the words, unnatural eye movement (no blinking or inauthentic tracking), and anything strange about the lighting or shadows. 

Most importantly, if they ever ask for money, run. There is no situation in which a person you’ve met online should ever ask you for money. The same is true if they want you to invest in anything. That investment won’t make you richer, it will only fill the scammer’s pockets.

In general, if anything seems like it’s not right, it probably isn’t. Don’t talk yourself out of trusting your gut. Your match might use bad grammar or strange phrasing which is a clue they are probably an overseas scammer, but you’re trying to be open minded so you overlook it. If someone you’re chatting with says they love you within hours or days of meeting, you might be so excited by the attention that you don’t see how strange that is. 

Don’t let your desire for love blind you to the warning signs. As soon as you have any indication that the person you’re talking to isn’t who they say they are, cut off all communication, block them, and notify the dating app.